Thursday, October 15, 2009

Did you say Peanut Butter?

So this is a very funny story. I'm almost embarrassed to type out the words, but it's one for the records, so here goes...

Cole is a healthy normal little boy, curious about his body and knows he has a penis. Now, he is not the type of little boy that is pulling on it or putting his hands in his pants or anything. So a least there aren't any issues in public (knock on wood it stays that way). But, he does enjoy laying down on his toys and, well, humping them. (Cole please forgive me for telling this story, I love you!)

At night he takes a bucket to bed with him. Yes a bucket. I would've thought something soft and plush, but I'm also not a boy so what do I know? Well, he doesn't like to go to sleep without his bucket and had been doing this for about a month when he told me his penis hurt.

"What do you mean it hurts?"

"It's sore, Mommy. I hurt my penis."

"Ok. Let's go to the bathroom and show me where." Well he pulls his pants and underwear down and there is a red rash down the underside of his penis. Inside, I'm freaking out, what the hell is that? Oh my God, my poor baby boy! Will I have grandchildren some day. HELP!

So I call Alex to get his opinion. He laughs and tells me to calm down, I guess he could see the terror in my eyes and knew my worries. He tells me to put some vaseline on it and tells Cole he needs to lay off the bucket for a few days. Alex explains to me, it is like intercourse without lubrication. OH, DUH! Why didn't I think of that.

The next day comes and he tells me his penis is still sore, so I take him in the bathroom and put more vaseline on it. It's healing well and will be fine by tomorrow. He says, "Mommy, will you help me pull my underwear up? I don't want to rub the peanut butter off."

WHOA! Did he just say Peanut Butter. My mind flashes to his preschool class where they pray everyday and have devotion. Yes My Mommy puts Peanut Butter on my Penis. Next scene, Mommy is pulled away in handcuffs.

"Son, did you just say Peanut Butter? No, I would NEVER put peanut butter on you honey!"

"No mom, I don't want to rub off the PEE-NIS butter." Ok is that really any better than peanut butter? Yikes. I just need to walk away from this conversation....

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Where has time gone?

So it has been 5 months since I last posted! Can that really be? I think it's pretty funny that I was talking about the twins learning to walk, even posted a video showing Sean standing. Poof! Five months have passed and here I am. It barely seems like a week. Just little bodies underfoot, everywhere I turn. They love going in opposite directions. They have their own little twin language, which if I had a translator for would be something along the lines.
"OK, she can't catch both of us. As soon as we are out of the van, let's make a mad dash. I'll go left and you go right. Ready, Set, GO!!!!! RUN!" Holding my hand? Oh forget it! Sean would rather roll around on gravel with his shirt over his head, than hold my hand. (ask me how I know that, go ahead. I dare you.) Another favorite is getting into tiny places that I need to move furniture if I really want to grab them, like behind the couch. That is where they have their planning sessions. It is a full out conversation and they understand each other, even if no one else does.
Cole, oh my gosh, the honesty of a four year old. I'll save those for another post. Yes Cole has turned 4 since I last blogged. Back in July, did he have a birthday party to tell you about? Oh yes, at Gymboree. Sorry, I think I had more to tell you about it, but was just interrupted. Cole is walking around with a bucket on his head and walked into the wall. Can you believe he hurt his knee doing that? I thought it was perfectly safe to walk around with a bucket on my head.

Good news for Alex - his job mapped over to Wells Fargo Advisors. So he will keep his job! Oh, yeah Alex and I each had a birthday since then as well. Not really a big deal....It's not like turning 4, you know. Well, speaking of time it has taken me about 2 hours to write this much from the constant interruptions. I will write again soon, promise. I have so many funny stories that I need to write down before I forget them.