tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33224919173612746662024-03-05T23:04:40.319-05:00And so we laugh...When life gets so crazy you can either laugh or cry.Stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.comBlogger104125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322491917361274666.post-16097111213356430972012-12-13T11:02:00.001-05:002012-12-13T11:02:32.688-05:00I Spanked My Child Today
I spanked my child today.
She'd torn her dress at play,
And tracked across the rug,
And laughed at me with such a smug,
Defiant, impish way
I sort of lost my head.
I spanked her till her little
Spanking place was red . . .
But now that she's in bed
I don't know what to say . . .
A sleeping child is such a tender sight.
One hand upflung against the pillow white.
A toy still clutched; the fair Stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322491917361274666.post-43292313569270533182012-04-30T13:13:00.000-04:002012-04-30T13:13:02.825-04:00Jack and Sam are here!
Wow! Has it really been almost a year since my last post. Let's see if I can do a fast update and will sincerely try to be more regular (Activia!) no that's not what I mean. It's been so long that I last wrote a post, the user interface is completely different and am trying to learn it on the fly.
I always seem to lead with TMI, so if I'm blogging, I'm nursing. So please excuse theStacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322491917361274666.post-42755951481968496422011-06-09T20:52:00.002-04:002011-06-09T20:55:55.339-04:00Multiple Multiples!!Yes that's right. I had my OB pregnancy confirmation today. When I told my wonderful fantastic doctor that I really strongly believe it is twins again and my beta HCG numbers (14dp5dt was 8,247 and 16dp5dt was over 20,000) she said that was really impressive and wanted to take a quick peak. Sure enough there are 2 gestational sacs in there and we can see 1 yolk sac in each. We go back on Weds theStacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322491917361274666.post-3332310083928701012011-06-04T20:37:00.000-04:002011-06-04T20:37:35.339-04:00The Hats We WearHow do you identify yourself? Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Friend... those we all know. Those are all common, but what about the other hats we wear that we may not choose to publicly identify with. The hats we wear, but choose to keep secret or at best not really discuss openly. How about Orphan, Cancer Survivor, Infertile, Crazy?
The past year of my life, I was fighting for my lifeStacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322491917361274666.post-40014478743296916082011-01-04T10:14:00.002-05:002011-01-04T11:43:33.552-05:00New Year, New MeMy New Year's resolution is to sit down and blog more often. It truly is therapy for me, and I am going to make the time dammit! Right now I'm getting ready to head to Cole's school to have lunch with him. They have lunch at 10:30 and I usually am only a quarter way through my coffee at that point. I want to surprise him and make him happy, so off I go to eat a cafeteria school lunch Stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322491917361274666.post-15756205795743431752010-12-28T21:17:00.004-05:002010-12-29T12:08:41.905-05:00I'm in love!
Is that a crazy thing for a parent to say? I'm in love with my child. I'm in love with my children. I look at them and my heart swells. I need to kiss their little dirty faces until they're smooshed. I love each of them the same and differently at the same time.
Cole is such a precocious little snuggler. He talks like it's nobody's business, has an opinion on everything (hmm, sounds a little Stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322491917361274666.post-17243264969014595662010-12-08T13:19:00.004-05:002010-12-08T13:26:37.465-05:00Not so angry anymoreSorry I scared the hell out of a bunch of you. I leave off with how angry and filled with rage I am and then didn't blog for months. I have been reprimanded by several people. Please accept my humble apologies. Also please feel free to call me out on any typos you may find. I have the spell check turned on, but it does not seem to be working.
Let's see, since I last truly blogged a lot has Stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322491917361274666.post-90933958054181238382010-12-08T12:50:00.000-05:002010-12-08T12:50:46.392-05:00Cute and funny things over the past few months...Cole had just woke up in the morning and he put on fresh underwear and shorts. I was helping him buckle his belt when he said. "Mom! I have a statue in my pants!" I realized he was talking about morning wood.
I stepped on my dog's tongue!!! He was licking the floor at the same time I stepped backwards. I was barefoot and it was the weirdest feeling ever. Poor Bandit.
As you get older, never trustStacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322491917361274666.post-81429549098803904532010-10-09T01:12:00.006-04:002010-10-10T09:15:57.424-04:00Why, oh Why?I am so angry. I am filled with rage and I don't know why. I lay in bed at night trying to fall asleep, and analyize my feelings. I miss my life and yet I know it will never go back to what it was. I have to accept what my life is, now, in the present. I loved to eat, drink, make love to my husband, sleep, and take a warm cozy shower. Now, I can't enjoy any of those things and I don't know Stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322491917361274666.post-37966618261495597362010-09-28T15:32:00.002-04:002023-03-13T15:06:15.720-04:00You just Nasty!So last week was my birthday and my best friend took me to get a pedicure. It was slow in there being the middle of the week. There was one customer in there and only 2 technicians. I have been going to that salon for 10 years and know one of the ladies is the owner. I don't get to go all the time but at least often enough so my feet don't get grody. Over 10 years, I've gotten to know the ladies.Stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322491917361274666.post-511403508523841432010-08-18T17:36:00.002-04:002010-10-01T19:22:41.630-04:00Mommy you have boobies, and I have a sword!So Cole has noticed the difference between boys and girls. "Mommy you have boobies and I have a sword!" He wasn't talking about his penis though, he was talking about a literal Nerf sword. Only boys can play with swords, that is NOT a girl toy, duh! Of course, my mind cracked up because he put it in one sentence. I now give him 10 years and he will be dying for a girl to play with his sword.
Stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322491917361274666.post-27273316492095828632010-08-11T17:30:00.012-04:002010-08-11T18:12:31.675-04:00Little Stinkers!!No this is not blood, it is lipstick. My favorite color of lipstick, so that sucks. But it really does look like she had a good time. That smile, she is saying cheese. She doesn't realize how much trouble she is in at the moment.
So, as if this isn't enough, the next day the two of them decide to re-decorate their room some. They got up at 7:00 am to get the materials out of the Stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322491917361274666.post-84396074563562171972010-07-28T10:40:00.001-04:002010-07-28T10:40:10.922-04:00The tube is OUT!!Again warning for the squeamish, blada, blada, blada.... Here are the pics of the doc pulling the tube out. He told me it was going to smart a little. I was pretty nervous, wishing I would've taken that Valium to calm me down. Too late now. So here is the picture of him pulling it out...
So you see the look on my face, I hadn't even realized it was out yet. Getting a catheter Stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322491917361274666.post-75666301826828749872010-07-15T10:18:00.000-04:002010-07-28T08:59:10.805-04:00The Tube is coming out Tomorrow!!!!WARNING: For the squeamish, you may want to avoid today's blog. But you and I both know that curiosity will get the better of you, so save the time debating it and just read it.
So today are before pictures in all of it's nastiness. Once it's taken out I will post some after pictures, but you'll have to wait until Saturday for that.
If you'll notice the pictures that are close to the Stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322491917361274666.post-61237311029717864062010-07-14T20:26:00.001-04:002010-07-15T17:02:22.123-04:00WOULD YOU PLEASE BLOG ALREADY!!!For those of you who Facebook, someone posted that on my wall. There have been a lot of reasons (or as some might read, excuses) why I haven't blogged lately. One of which is I rarely get my hands on the netbook when there is quiet in the house so I can think. Right now I am actually on Alex's work computer. I probably should not be writing right now anyway, I'm just so freaking Stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322491917361274666.post-35079032715055692212010-06-09T14:44:00.000-04:002010-06-09T13:43:40.043-04:00Lots of CrazinessChemo last round, was something else. I remember getting really nauseated and asking for something for it. Well they gave me something. Whatever it was they gave me knocked me to next Tuesday. As in I don't remember anything until Tuesday and it was Thursday that I had chemo. Unfortunately, it didn't knock me out, it just made me difficult. Poor Alex had 3 two years to take care of. He was Stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322491917361274666.post-80418822287536270312010-05-19T16:16:00.004-04:002010-05-19T16:36:05.355-04:00Just a little Claustrophobic How much difference a week can make. I am back on the patch, same dose as when I had freaked out. I seem to be doing better this time though. One thing, I had the radiation technicians cut eye holes in my mask. That has helped immensely! The medicine is getting into my system and I feel like I can swallow again. It still hurts, but I can do it.Oh, I used the feeding tube! If I have it, might as Stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322491917361274666.post-86654071750315827562010-05-14T13:31:00.004-04:002010-05-14T16:13:12.796-04:00I'm melting, melting!Well both my doctors have urged me to go back on the patch. As much as I hated to do it, I broke down and put it back on. My throat feels like I'm swallowing knives and the Lortab elixir is no longer touching it. So I am back on the patch, still taking the Lortab elixir and added something called Magic Mouthwash. It is supposed to numb on contact. Between all of that I feel like it's butter Stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322491917361274666.post-16508304008919900082010-05-10T10:09:00.003-04:002010-05-11T17:21:08.388-04:00Just wanting to say Thank You!It's hard to believe it's been a month since my diagnosis. Each passing day has seemed like an eternity in itself. And at the same time, I blinked and a month has passed. Most of it is a blur and I'm not sure I would even have the details right. Some things I do know for sure. I know that this has been the darkest month of life. I have felt loneliness and despair like I have never felt before andStacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322491917361274666.post-4967601278512819892010-05-04T13:22:00.005-04:002010-05-04T13:48:32.325-04:00NarcoticsI always thought I would be a fan of narcotics. If I got my hands on some good stuff, I would be a junkie. Maybe before all of this, I would have. I would've enjoyed the escape from life and could have been. Right now it feels more like it is robbing me of life. I'm here, but I'm not. I feel and I don't.I have been on a pain patch for about 4 days, and have taken it off a few hours ago. I would Stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322491917361274666.post-38342562527952408042010-05-03T09:58:00.007-04:002010-05-04T13:20:00.623-04:00A Help or a Hinderance?I realize why I hate this feeding tube so damn much! It is a physical manifestation of what I am going through with the cancer treatments. It is a constant reminder that I have to fight this, this cancer inside my body. With radiation and chemo, I feel like those are the good guys. We are a team and fighting the side effects and healing me, but the tube is something... Something I endure, I feel,Stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322491917361274666.post-81537671259870146572010-05-02T10:24:00.012-04:002010-05-02T19:27:01.037-04:00I hate this Feeding Tube!!!I made it through yesterday, somehow. Most of the day went by in a foggy, nauseated way. I don't know how much of it was real or not. I at least feel like I am in my brain today.The feeding tube has been the biggest pain in the butt so far. Yesterday I was at the point of wanting to rip it out myself. Alex talked me off the edge and I started taking Amoxycillian. The doctor wanted me to have it Stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322491917361274666.post-62498117870738255872010-04-30T11:06:00.001-04:002010-04-30T14:26:36.530-04:00First round Chemo and Radiation treatmentYesterday morning started off with the Radiation right at 8:00 am. Alex was able to come into the room while they strapped me to the table like Frankenstein's monster. After that everyone cleared the room. The door to this room is no joke either it is about 6-8 inches thick. The actual radiation is done and over with in no time.We went over to the infusion area at the Oncologist office for the Stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322491917361274666.post-6737647265373717292010-04-24T10:09:00.008-04:002010-04-24T11:19:46.421-04:00Something new everydayYesterday I had a port put in. (Was it really just yesterday?) Chemotherapy ruins your veins, and as it is I only have one good vein for blood to be drawn from. My choice was a pic line in my arm or the port in my chest. If I did the pic line, I would have to tape it off every time I want to take a shower. So that made it a no brainer, I want the port! It is under the skin and I can keep it in Stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322491917361274666.post-53682809128111601862010-04-19T14:08:00.005-04:002010-04-19T14:33:52.201-04:00Great News!I got the results from the PET scan back and the cancer is localized in my tongue and has not metastasized! When the doctor told us, I could barely pay attention to the rest of what he was saying. I am going to live, that is what I heard. I tried to process the rest of the information that he was giving me, but all I could think is I will live through this.I start radiation and chemo soon. I am Stacyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091575722918736707noreply@blogger.com1