Funny things I never thought I'd say, then I had kids!

• Please don't lick the TV.
• No, Spam is not dog food. No, I promise I am not trying to feed you dog food.
  
• Do NOT put jelly beans in your ear....Oh, DON'T EAT IT!!
• Sweetheart, do not put your head down my shirt, we don't do that to ladies.
• I thought I asked you, please, do not lick the TV. No she is not giving you a kiss.
  
• No you like corn with a "kuh" sound not a "Puh" sound.
• You are NOT a puppy dog, do NOT drink the water from the dog bowl again. I mean it!
• Look, you either wear it or not wear it, but you can't do both at the same time. It's just not possible.
• I know sweetheart, I can't fly either.
• Do not ride your tricycle down the stairs!
• Do not pick the dog's nose... No, he doesn't like it....No he doesn't....Because I said so!