Cute and funny things over the past few months...

1. Cole had just woke up in the morning and he put on fresh underwear and shorts. I was helping him buckle his belt when he said. "Mom! I have a statue in my pants!" I realized he was talking about morning wood.
2. I stepped on my dog's tongue!!! He was licking the floor at the same time I stepped backwards. I was barefoot and it was the weirdest feeling ever. Poor Bandit.
3. As you get older, never trust a fart!
4. I was letting the twins watch the Disney Channel. Katie was watching Hannah Montana, Sean picked up the remote and handed it to me saying."'No. I pass."
5. Cole: We live in the United Steaks. If you say steak, it's what we eat. If you say United Steak, it's where we live.
6. So I was reading CNN, and saw on the right "popular on Facebook" and I thought, why do I have to be popular on FB to read those stories?
7. Sean dancing around the living room in Katie's princess heels to the song Disco Queen, that boy has got some moves!
8. Sean took a matchbox car, shoved it into my cleavage, put his hands in the air...Ta Da!
9. Katie farted on my lap, I asked her what do you say? (Expecting her to say 'cuse me) but no, my daughter says, "All mine!"
10. We learned the hard way. Do NOT watch Tosh.O when the kids are awake. We thought, oh it can't be that bad, they'll bleep anything bad. Obviously, we had not watched the show before. I grabbed both kids next to me and covered eyes and ears in a flash. We turned it off immediately and Alex and I both about had a heart attack. If you are curious, they were giving a definition of "docking". Alex and I never heard the word in this context before. He and I are so niave, we thought computer docking station. UH,NO!
11. On that note, we found a show that is funny as hell! It's called Tosh.O. I suggest DVR and waiting until all children are in bed. Wait until your teenagers are in bed too. God forbid they think of new stupid crap to do.