I'm melting, melting!

Well both my doctors have urged me to go back on the patch. As much as I hated to do it, I broke down and put it back on. My throat feels like I'm swallowing knives and the Lortab elixir is no longer touching it. So I am back on the patch, still taking the Lortab elixir and added something called Magic Mouthwash. It is supposed to numb on contact. Between all of that I feel like it's butter knifes instead of butcher knives, so I guess that is an improvement.

It hurts to talk or swallow, so I'm drinking a lot of Ensure Plus. My taste is so off I can't even taste it. Popsicles are my friend. They feel so good. I hope the pain is due to the cancer cells dying. That is what I like to think anyway. I know it's due to the radiation and blah, blah, blah. All I can think is, "Die Bitch! DIE!!!" (The cancer, not me). I picture it as the wicked witch from The Wizard of Oz, "I'm melting, melting!"

I was talking with Alex the other night about the remote possibility this doesn't work. It's something we are both aware of, but it has to work. It will work. It IS WORKING! I just know it! I'm too much of a fighter. I'm going to kick this cancer in the butt! No way will it win.