Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Cole and his new best friend

So my Little Man is growing up. He kept me in stitches most of the day yesterday. He has perfect comedic timing. He always has. We had a few cute little stories yesterday and I called Amy to share them with her. Well later in the day she wanted to share them with Olivia, and Olivia didn't want to hear them from her! She wanted to wait and see if I'd blog about it. So here I am. No pressure.

So like every little boy and man, he is obsessed with his penis. He loves to say the word as well Pee-Nis. I'm sure I hear the word at least 10 times a day.

"What is it honey, did my ring scratch you?"
"No, I pinched my penis"
"OH! Do you need to go pee-pee in the potty?"
"No, I just pinched it and it hurts. That's all."
"Well maybe you shouldn't pinch yourself then."

An hour later:
"Mommy, I got to go pee-pee"
"Oh great job on telling me! Hold it and let's run to the potty."
He stops in his tracks, "You told me not to pinch my penis!"

"Honey, you have been doing so well telling Mommy when you need to go pee-pee, would you like to wear the big boy underwear?"
"Great, that means you just need to keep telling me when you need to go pee-pee"
"Uh, um, I changed my mind, I want a pull-up instead."
"No sweetheart, it's okay if you have an accident, but let's go ahead and try the underwear."
As I am helping him into them, I notice a hair wrapped around his penis. I'm thinking to myself, that has got to hurt.
"Honey, let me get that hair off for you."
"NO! That's my friend!"
"The hair is your friend?"
"No, my penis is my friend" (Boy I wish I knew how to type the inflection of his voice in that statement! It was all I could do to hold it together!)

Later in the day driving in the car someone cut me off in traffic and I was really proud of myself for not cursing instead I said this:
"Oh! Pickles!"
"MOM! We do not say pickles. That not nice! One, two, three! I spank your tail and you go timeout Mister! Now!"
Laughing, I say, "Honey. Pickles is not a bad word. What makes you think it's a bad word?"
"It IS a bad word."
"Did someone at your school say it's a bad word?"
Patiently like he is talking to a small child, He says, "No Mom." Then for emphasis he claps his hand to his chest, "I say it's a bad word!"

And let's not forget Cole's favorite game. Of course he talks about this in what seems to me a very loud voice.
"I have penis, and Daddy have penis. Amy dodn't have penis. Leevla dodn't have penis. Mommy dodn't have penis. Kris and Paw-Paw have penis. Hay?! HE HAVE PENIS!" As he is pointing at the butcher handing me the meat. The butcher just cracks up. He is an older gentleman, most likely a grandpa several times over and says to me, "Oh, I see we are learning about the differences today!" I am just so thankful that I've known this butcher since before I was even pregnant with Cole and smile and laugh.

Yet later in the day at the grocery store, we are at the checkout and I am paying:
"Mom, look it is time to go. See, see what time it is? We need to go NOW! 2 minutes" He is pointing at his Spiderman tattoo on his arm like it is a watch.
"Yes sweetheart, we are almost done. Honey how about you go sit on that bench while I finish paying."
At this the 16 year old bagger looks up at me as if I had just told him to go sit down. He was wide eyed and scared looking. I think it was his first day. So I laughed and asked him "Does your Mom call you honey as well?" Great, I am old enough to be his Mom! Now I really feel old!

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